Things Dad Would Never Say

The top 20 things you'll never hear your dad say:

1. Can you turn up that music?
2. Go ahead and take my truck. Here's 50 bucks for gas.
3. I LOVE your tattoo. We should both get new ones.
4. It's OK that you're late. The curfew is only a suggestion.
5. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
6. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- go crazy.
8. What do you mean you wanna play football? Ballet not good enough for you, son?
9. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party.
10. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies-you know-that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
11. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your bellyaching, and let's go to the mall.
12. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
13. Here, you hold the remote for a while.
14. Can I do the dishes tonight? Please?
15. OK, girls, just keep talking. The ballgame will be over in a few minutes.
16. Now that you're 16, hey, feel free to take the car anytime!
17. I don't want to go to the hardware store! Let's watch the Lifetime Channel tonight!
18. Does this outfit make me look fat?
19. Boy, that George Clooney is a fantastic actor!
20. Oh, let me iron that for you.

HAPPY FATHERS' DAY!