Keeping up with the Joneses

According to Wikipedia:
"Keeping up with the Joneses" is a popular catchphrase in many parts of the English-speaking world. It refers to the desire to be seen as being as good as one's neighbours or contemporaries using the comparative benchmarks of social caste or the accumulation of material goods. To fail to "keep up with the Joneses" is perceived as demonstrating socio-economic or cultural inferiority.

And why, you might ask, am I sharing this with you at midnight on a school night?
Because this is the phrase that ran through my head as I made my way back to the computer tonight rather than heading to bed as I had planned (and promised Mike).

I love reading my friends' blogs. It is so much fun to see what they are up to and laugh at the unique way they tell their stories. But every time I read one of their fabulously insightful and most often entertaining posts, I start to feel inferior...

I look at my own blog posts and wish I had written something more witty.
I look at the pictures on my blog and wish they were more exciting.
I look at my blog and berate myself for not posting more often during the month.
I look at the comments on my site and worry that no one finds my life interesting enough to read about.

What is with this insane idea that I have to do more and be more and have more??? Why can't I be satisfied with myself? Why can't I accept that I do what I can when I can and that is enough for right now? Why do I take something as fun as reading about other people's lives and turn it into a self-imposed guilt trip?

A couple years ago I taught a lesson in Relief Society about the "perfect woman". I began by listing all the things we "should" be doing or be good at or be striving toward. (cooking, cleaning, spirituality, quilting, baking, scrapbooking, sewing, teaching, service, genealogy, fitness, nutrition, correspondence, patience, etc.) As I listed these, the women in class began to see that the point I was making was not that we really should be doing all of this but rather that it is obviously ridiculous to think that we are expected to! From there we had an amazing discussion about how we put so much pressure upon ourselves as women. We look around at the amazing people around us and see their incredible talents and positive personalities. Then we add those traits and abilities to our own "internal to-do list". We begin to feel inferior because we are not willing, able, or capable of doing everything that we have somehow convinced ourselves we should. We begin to feel overwhelmed by our presumed inadequecies and this quickly leads to unhappiness and/or depression.

Obviously I was a part of this discussion. I was the teacher that night! But did I learn anything? I thought so.
Until tonight as I realized that I have convinced myself that if I don't post something terribly witty and insightful on my blog immediately I am not worthwhile. I have decided that giving up another hour of precious sleep is worth it when compared to failing to complete a blog post before I can relax my mind enough to fall asleep.

So, here it is.
I am doing my best at "keeping up with the Joneses".
I am adding this post to my blog tonight in the hopes that it might free me from some of the imaginary guilt I have heaped upon my own sholders. I also hope that perhaps others who read this will think, "Hmmmm. Sounds like me sometimes," and take a step back to reevaluate what really matters.

I know I will.
Uh, Tomorrow.
Maybe after I post a few more times...
And create a magnificent meal for my perfectly behaved children and doting husband.
Oh! And finish decorating my immaculate home.

Hmmmmm.

1 comments:

Mad Queen said...

You are way too hard on yourself... you know you are a perfectionist right? Well and you are INSANE! That is a total Kim word. INSANE. I used it the other day and it made me miss you. I can hear your voice in my head saying "it is insane!!" What are you doing trying to keep up with the Jones'? You go over the top in all that you do. If anyone tried to keep up with you, they are in TROUBLE. Now if you try to get even better than you are and do more than you already do, you can only imagine how high you are raising the bar then. DON'T do it Kim!