Pray for me (please)

So today I spent my first day off work in 2 months at the doctor's office and the hospital doing "pre-op" stuff. (CODE: Nothing that couldn't have been done 30 minutes before surgery. But why not waste a perfectly lovely day by dragging the nervous person through various piles of paperwork and once again describing how large the incision will be in her neck!)

First I had the pleasure of sitting in the doctor's office waiting room for almost an hour. Then when everyone else in the entire place had been taken back, seen, and dismissed...I was called back to see the doctor. The nurse deposited me in a tiny, dark room and said Dr. Pugh would be right with me. (CODE: Sit back and relax, girl, because it'll be a while before he shows up!)

After waiting in the exam room for another 20 minutes, the doctor finally strolled in. (Oh, and by the way, I am now officially late for the appointment I have at the hospital. Yeah, the one the doctor set up for me!) After glancing at my chart for ten seconds, he said he needed one of "the girls" to come in to talk to me. I assume he meant a nurse but had forgotten (or never learned) that calling them girls is demeaning and unprofessional.

When the poor nurse came back in, she apologized that she hadn't realized I was a pre-op appointment and started shuffling through my chart. As she started to explain where to go when I reach the hospital and what I need to bring with me, she realized that I was supposed to be at the hospital for my appointment at 11:40 AM so I could fill out any necessary paperwork before meeting with the pre-op nurse. (It is now 12:15 PM. Hmmmmmmm.)

She quickly left to go find Dr. Pugh again.

Unfortunately, he has vanished. Maybe he was hungry and went to lunch? (I know I wish that I had the time to grab a sandwich. Had I known I would be sitting for such a long time, I would have left and returned with lunch for everyone!) Eventually she was able to find him and he came back in to chat with me again. (CODE: Tell me again that he will cut my neck open and take out half of my thyroid - he even drew a little line on my neck so I could visualize the incision!)

So, I finally get out of there and drive to the hospital. I arrive at 12:40 PM (one hour after I should have been there). I stand there waiting to be helped while an old lady tells the THREE nurses some story about breaking her wrist. They continue to ignore me as I shuffle back and forth and make frustrated huffing sounds. Finally, one of them asks my name and I explain the reason I am late. They hand me a pager.

If at this point you are slightly confused, you are not alone. Since when do you get a pager when you go to the hospital? I wasn't at a restaurant waiting for a table. I just needed someone to check my address, phone number, and insurance information.

So I waited another 15 minutes for my pager to go off.

Once I actually got back to the pre-op nurse, things went smoothly. She was super nice and found my sense of humor funny rather than irritating. (I think Dr. Pugh thinks I am half crazy and definitely does NOT find me amusing.)

They took my vitals (good) and my blood (that was unexpected), asked tons of questions about my health (understandably) mental well being (interesting) and whether or not I have a living will (do I need one right now?), gave me a sterile cup (concealed in an unmarked brown lunch bag) to collect "a sample" for a pregnancy test (what?!?!?) before my surgery, and sent me on my way.

Now, I feel tons better about this surgery...

WHAT?!?!?!?

I am terrified and it really doesn't help to read the little booklet that lists all the things that might go wrong. Full disclosure, I know, but I don't really need to know some of this stuff!

In summary:
I spent the day getting irritated at doctors.
I am now better informed of the "risks" of this surgery.
I am scheduled to have thyroid surgery on Friday, November 16.
I go into surgery at 8:00 AM and (barring any complications) I should be out by 10:00 AM.
I will stay overnight.
I will go home with plenty of pain medication and a large bandage on my neck.
I am more than a little nervous.
I better get flowers from Mike. (hee hee)